Abdicated

I haven't written on this in so long. The funny thing is that I've thought of doing it but never actually brought myself to doing it. It's not that funny, but hey ho. It's been like five months, weird, totally abandoning my blog.
Frankly, not a lot has changed in terms of the world but I seem to have a better grasp on what I want and I'm altering the things I don't want in life. Slowly but surely I'm getting there. It's amazing as I go through all kinds of feelings and experiences in my 'journey' through life - happiness, surprise, sadness - I hold this question as a guiding light: 'What do I really need right now to be happy?' What I seem to come to changes each time, but things like love, connection and kindness seem to be what pops up that'll really make me happy in any sort of enduring way.
I know I'm probably repeating myself but I really am starting to realise the people that I need and should have around me and I'm working towards achieving that, haha.
Hm, I hate it when you want to do something but you're so scared of the potential consequences that it stops you from going ahead and doing it even though it could possibly be one of the best things you've ever done. Confusing? I know. Gosh, I just wish I could read minds at times.
Urm, exams have started, and it's my last week in school. Four days left: Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. It's weird how, strangely, I'm actually going to miss wearing the school uniform and being in 'secondary' school aha. I know I'm staying in sixth form but stiilll. I may actually cry on Friday aha, it's going to be a crazy week. People are signing books already, kinda cool.
There's a lot I could write but to be honest, it isn't worth the time aha. I'll try and write as much as I can, so then I can write 'loads'. However, not everyday for the next few weeks due to the exams. Which are crazy, I have EIGHT science exams! Damn, that sucks. Big time. English Literature and Humanities exam tomorrow, hopefully I do well. I actually pray that all this work I'm putting in for the exams are worth it, else I'd be highly pissed. Ha.
GOOD-LUCK TO EVERYONE THAT HAS EXAMS :)


'Sometimes you need a second chance, because time wasn't ready for the first one.'

ox

Nuevos Prinicipios

Doing this, simply because it's nearly 2011 and I'm kinda reminscing on 2010.
Well, as always there are things I'd like to say I've accomplished in the year 2010 but honestly speaking I can't say otherwise, it'd be a lie. This past year hasn't been reasonably prominent in terms of years that I'll remember in the future. Over-all it has been a bit of a boring year but at the same time it witholds memories that are of high importance and 'fun' aha. 2010 has been a year of change, personally speaking that is. My perspective on alot of things have been moulded, both positively and negatively.There are many things I wish I could have accomplished and at the same time, there are things that I never imagined I could achieve but I have. There's more I can say about the year but to be honest it'd take a while and I'm lazy. I'd like to go on about how I've found out who my real friends are but (there's always a but) I genuinely can't, for varying reasons. There are those who I actually felt were my real friends but as always, I was wrong. Then there's just the simple element of not knowing what to believe because as evident, there are those who use you for what you can do for them and only ever seem to remember you when in need of something.

At the end of the year, thanks to those who hated me, they've made me a stronger person. Thanks to those who loved me, they've made me a stronger person. Thanks to those who were worried about me, they've let me know that they cared for/about me. Thanks to those who left me, they've made me realise that nothing lasts forever. Thanks to those who have entered my life and never left, they've made me realise who I am and who I'm becoming. Special thanks to those who stood by me through the year, means alot ♥.

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! :)





'The only way to get rid of a shadow is to turn off the lights, to stop running from the darkness and face what you fear, head on.'

ox

Revisit.

Goodday all. I haven't updated this in forever, it seems. Life sometimes gets away from you and priorities change. As usual, nothing that seems prominent has occurred. Alot has probably happened but right now, I can't seem to remember the most important things.

I would like to say that I'm starting to approach the stage whereby things in my life remain more constant, and that my likes and dislikes are changing less and less and I'm starting to know who I am but frankly, that is quite far from the truth. There are alot of things I wish I could say about who I am but yet again I can't because in all honesty I'm not too sure who I am.

At this stage in my life, things are changing pretty intently, and I'd like to think that they are for the better. Right now, I believe I have a more straightforward goal in terms of what I want my future to be like, and how I intend to achieve my objectives. I've realised that, in life, there really is no time for time-wasting, and as Benjamin Franklin quoted 'Time is money', regardless if life shouldn't be taken too seriously, but if one chooses to be lackadaisical then by the time one realises that being lazy gets you nowhere, it's too late and as evident time can't be changed.

Life at the moment, is going very good. There are three things that I devote my energy to: family, school and basketball. Nothing comes before that, I've figured what my priorities should be and what they are. I really don't have time for time-wasters and people who have to intent on leading a positive life. 'Knowledge is power'. And I know this makes me sound egocentric or self-centered, but honestly speaking, what is the point in wasting my time dabbling in things that are certainly not going to add to me amounting up to anything?

Just realised I started this, talking about how uneventful I am then I wrote a load of stuff, aha. On a positive note, it's Christmas tomorrow, Merry Christmas to those who celebrate it and hope they enjoy it.

Can't believe it's the end of 2010, it's been a very alternating year, but I'm saving a post about the year 2010 for later :)




'You know how when you were a little kid and you believed in fairy tales, that fantasy of what your life would be, white dress, prince charming who would carry you away to a castle on a hill. You would lie in bed at night and close your eyes and you had complete and utter faith. Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, Prince Charming, they were so close you could taste them, but eventually you grow up, one day you open your eyes and the fairy tale disappears. Most people turn to the things and people they can trust. But the thing is its hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely cause almost everyone has that smallest bit of hope, of faith, that one day they will open their eyes and it will come true.'


ox

Antiquated

Heyheyhey:)
Totall aboned for like over a month, apologies aha.
In school now, and I feel like such a 'badaman' because I'm updating my blog from school! ;) keeeennnooo.

Will write later, that is, if I remember.

'He wanted to take his love back from her so badly. The old techniques didn’t work anymore. In fact, they’d never worked. How do you stop loving someone? It was one of the world’s more brutal mysteries. The more you tried, the less it worked.'

ox

Unintended.

Urrmmm... Don't know why I'm updating this, most likely because I am ineffably bored. Now I've started, I have no idea what to write. The game against Hatfield Fliers score was 69-64 to them. 'Twas a good game. Most of their points were from fouls to be honest :/ Not particularly happy with how I played but hey, not much I can do about it now, just have to make sure I try harder in future games. Speaking of future games, our next game is next week Sunday :) It's against Birmingham A's. I think they're younger than we are but still, it's unforeseen, anything could happen. But I hope we win, that'd be the ultimate outcome :D

I really wish I could open up more about me to people that I know actually care but I'm just being too stubborn to say what's going on with me and shizz. I guess I'm not too big on the whole saying what's the matter with me but I am trying to change that so when you do ask what's up with me, it's not a situation whereby I want you to go away, I'm just not really up for talking and 'opening up' and emotions hahahaa. I sound like a fool.

So much coursework to do but I'm toooo lazy to do it :/ Looks like I HAVE to get work done tomorrow. Hopefully, I'm getting some new basketball boots tomorrow aswell, wooo.

'Be bold and courageous. When you look back on your life, you'll regret the things you didn't do more than the ones you did.'

ox

Unpremediated.

Wasn't too sure if I should update but I thought, why not? But now I'm kinda starting to rethink it seeing as I don't have anything fascinating to say :/ Hmm..
Ermm as you can tell I'm bored and writing on here doesn't help because I'm a boring person! Umm, lets see.. I just finished reading THE best book ever! It's called Velocity by Dean Koontz. No word of a lie here, this book shits on ALL THE TWILIGHT BOOKS. The only drawback is the fact that I was expecting more of a crazy ending but it ended crazy enough. Basically, it's about this guy - perfectly normal bartender - finding a note on his car that says If you don't take this note to the police and get them involved I will kill a lovely blond school teacher somewhere in Napa County. If you do take this note to the police, I will instead kill an elderly woman active in charity work. You have six hours to decide. The choice is yours." Billy just thought it was a stupid joke. But he did show his friend Lanny - who by the way is a police officer - and he also said that it's a sick joke and Billy shouldn't worry about it. The next day when he got to work Lanny came to see him and told him about the school teacher that died. Now, Billy began to believe that it's not just a joke there is some sick psycho on the loose. That very same day after work he got another note that said 'If you take this note to the police I will kill a mother of two, if you don't take this note to the police I will kill a man that not very many people will miss.' He had five hours to decide. When he got home he got a call from Lanny's house but no one spoke. Later that same night he found Lanny dead :O! - Lanny was single and lived his on his own. Ahhh can't be bothered to write more about the book, EVERYONE needs to read it :D Seriously, the best book I've ever read and also it's the most original. If you want to borrow it, feel free to ask but I warn you, there's already a waiting list of two haha :')

Game day tomorrow! Not too sure how I feel about it, I'm partly excited but at the same time I'm nervous haha, I don't want to mess up at all. Hopefully my game will be on point ;) Knowing me I'll probably psych myself out and mess up but nevertheless, I'm still going to try and play as good as I can :)





'It is not how much you do, but how much love you put in the doing.'

ox

Untitled.

Haven't written on this in what seems like an incredibly
long time even though it clearly hasn't..

Umm, as I'm pretty sure as everyone knows I don't lead a particularly interesting life so if you're expecting some kind of crazy ass interesting blog, then you are at a VERY wrong destination.

Not much has happened in the last few weeks really except for I've hurt my freaking ankle and it still hurts after two weeks -.-
Urrmm, season starts on Sunday! First game on Sunday :D:D
It's an away game in Doncaster, we have to be at Academy for eight o'clock in the morning -.- Really not sure how that's going
to happen :/ But on the plus side we have an away game. Just realised we're going to be on the coach for 3 hours! :O I intend to sleep most of it haha. I hope we win our game. Me being the sad ass I am, I googled the team we're playing and last season they won 2 games and lost 10 so hopefully it's not so bad. Jheeze asif I've just being going on about that for that long -.-

Reeaaaaallllllllllllyyyyyyyyyyyyyy not in the mood for school tomorrow to be honest :/

Lastly, although life may not go as well as I want it to, there's not much I can do about it, so might aswell smile and get over it, doubt that many people care when I'm upset to be frank haha.






"How does one become a butterfly? They have to want to learn to fly so much that they are willing to give up being a caterpillar."


ox