Poetry of Nasri: Ambitious Kisses

Poetry of Nasri: Ambitious Kisses: She can redefine your life, your whole perception changes Moving up the ladders, your whole lifestyle rearranges The ghetto whispers whe...

BANDAAARRRRR

VNDKFHDIAIUSGFYDUSDNCISDSBC GUISE MY EXAMS ARE OVER! SOOOO MANY MIXED FEELINGS LOOL! Happiness, sadness, restlessness, ambivalence! Oh, it's all a mess loool. Slyly, I'm super shook for the results but still happy that it's all out of the way but now my exams are over, I have NO idea what to do with myself! I've used so many exclamation marks already lool, I'm writing this with a massive grin on my face and I actually do not know why ahahahah - I'm just sooo happy, alhamdulillah!

Anyhoooo, onto pressing matters – The other day I was editing my bio, there was this random question generator and it was "Which is more important to you and why: flexibility or expandability?” I didn’t know how in the world I was supposed to tackle such a question loool so I made notes on perspective on which the question could be attacked... I came up with: physically or mentally. The former sounded somewhat sickening so I went for the latter in terms of attributes that are more desirable.

Okay, admittedly both are characteristic that are very useful but then again their usefulness is rather reliant on how we ourselves classify them and also dependent on if we’re talking spiritually or not – if that makes sense?

There is more than one meaning to flexibility which could be being able to bend without collapsing or it could mean for one to be easily swayed. In regards to the former, it is unquestionable that being flexible is great – and when one looks at it from the perspective of our mind, body and soul, we should be able to be open or be able bend (open to ideas, experiences and ideologies). In spite of this, we should also be wary of being too flexible as we may become ruined and rendered useless lol. One doesn’t want to be so open that you get to a stage whereby you lose yourself and values which were once intrinsic aha.

Flexibility entails freedom, choice and breathing room which makes it seem like the much better trait to possess; after all many of people advocate liberty, lool! Besides, with flexibility there is room for one to grown from mistakes made as well as there being lots of options and the knack to reassess things happening. It isn’t particularly limited and gives one the power to focus on ones self and priorities – does that make sense? We all have the flexibility to move without much restraint in creating the life you want and allows one to build on it from wherever you choose – things aren’t stagnant, change is always occurring, gotta move with the times lol.

In regards to flexibility being described as being swayed without difficulty, this view leads one to believe that it is perhaps not a valuable trait. But this could also be a misconception. This is somewhat similar to being able to bend but in this instance there’s more focus on the effect the outside has on your flexibility. In principle, one should be open to change but then again it is a bit of a problem when change happens too quickly – does anyone else worry about that? I do lol. Viable change ought to occur when much consideration has been taken and when one has vivid awareness of the impact of the change and its result. If a change is done super swift then you could actually go as far as saying that the change was done with minimal clarity. Consequently, there is potential of a myriad of problems which I can’t even lie can be suuuuper LONG – ain’t nobody got time fo’ dat. Mate, I’m not however saying that things that can happen against plans or that the recompense we get for accepting a change is different than what we expect but by planning, such outcomes are unlikely – I’d like to think anyway, not like I’ve been through enough to make such a conclusive assertion.

Expandability is a bit different even though it does seem rather analogous. Expandability = spread out, unfold or enlarge. In terms of being meaningful, I think expandability may take the lead a bit because when something/someone is expanding they aren’t just changing the person that are they are but they are also maintaining their originality. Through expanding, you are gaining. Whereas, with flexibility the object is changes thus forming it to what the person/thing controlling desires – one might have freedom but there isn’t as much room to grow as you would have otherwise.

What’s more is that being able to expand and unfold is to some extent very vital because isn’t that one of the many goals of our journey through life? For use to be able to expand our experiences and knowledge whilst our physical form grown and unfolds into adulthood? On the contrary, it isn’t always as easy as stated lool – things are always easier to say than do. I find it hard to open up to people emotionally as well as supporting others emotionally, to a point whereby I can no longer protect myself. It’s very long. Besides, isn’t the main purpose of having things folded is so that not everything is in the open? When one unfolds, everything becomes open to the elements, the idea of there being little privacy is disconcerting ahahaha – slight exaggeration there but I hope you get my drift. I try to be open to provide emotional support to everyone but at the same time I appreciate it being reciprocated so I don’t relish in the idea of getting so caught up in helping everyone else that I have to neglect myself. It sounds a bit selfish but ultimately keeping oneself content is the primary goal tbh. If I can’t keep myself comforted and grounded, how am I supposed to be able to expand out everyone else? There’d be no energy for me to hold myself up if I’m constantly focusing on everyone else – no? Once again, if I can’t hold myself up, how can I offer help to hold someone else up, it would all seem like a big joke.

Ultimately, both are in different ways as beneficial as the other to have but as stated earlier it is massively dependent on what we regard them to mean and how being either/or has an effect on us.

LEUL, I've just basically gone on for ages *siiiigggghh* Anyway, I seriously hope that the stuff I've said made else this would have sucked. It would be nice to know what some of you reading this think about the question. Feel free to leave your answer in the comment box, I'd love to read them! Thank you guys again for reading aha, it's always interesting to see how many people actually read this. Finally on 5000 views, wooooooooooo! 

"Through life we suffer, through friends we never have to suffer alone"

                                                                      ox

Flexibility or Expandability

Okay, so in Profile bit there was a random (but very thought-provoking) question...Which is more important to you and why: flexibility or expandability? 

I'm going to do a post answering it, after Wednesday when I have no exam. I asked it on Twitter, got very scattered replies (i.e. one) lool and I tweeted my thoughts on it. It's such a good question lol. I'll write more on it, probably on Thursday!

Terse

Heeeey! 

Urm, I'm revising UK politics atm...seriously CBA. Like, seriously. It's probably the most strenuous yet minimal revision I'm ever doing. I don't want to get a crap grade, otherwise I would have given up long ago.

Was looking at my blog earlier and the posts without titles look so craps :( I'm gonna go through them and give them a title so it looks better. I'm also going to create a new blog for stuff like creative writing. A while back, I found myself writing mini stories and coming up with ideas for some but they never actually materialised unfortunately so yeah, I'm gonna make use of this! 

Ahhh, it's MLK day today so to commemorate that I'll use one of his quotes lawl. RIP.

"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.
-MLK Jr."

ox

Recompense

Aesh. I haven't written here in a LONG time. Like forever, I've been so caught up in life! Lorl, I say that like my life is very interesting. Just the basic stuff tbh, sixthform, personal life, family etc. My summer has been an alright one. I think I posted after results day  - let me check. Yeah, I did.
Crazy how quick time flies, like the amount of things that have happened don't feel like it's been such a long time - if that makes sense? And also, it's the end of 2012! Literally, 2012 has gone so quick yet it's had a jolting effect on my life. I think my views have matured significantly to be honest but then again, it's called personal growth for a reason I guess. Everytime I'm about to write here I think I have a lot to say then it comes down to it and I have nothing to say, damn.
Currently, I'm sat in the library feeling victorious after completing my comparative essay. However, I 'm a bit apprehensive about the feedback I'm going to get lol. I still have my critical to complete which shall be done tonight when I get home. I've also done a bit of revision for History. I have two resits in January, which I really cannot be bothered to do. I got B's in them so it seems a bit pointless but then again I don't want to not revise for it because that will be massively counterproductive and knowing some of the teachers I have, they'd probably make me pay for the exam if I flop lorl.
Ohhh yeah! I've applied to uni, wooo ¬_¬
Ayeee, I stopped writing and I'm only now writing to finish it up. Mate, I've only realised just how MUCH revision I have to go through and I'm sooooo scared, like really. I'm gonna start revision at 11 so I've got about 20 mins to write now. (doubt I'm writing that much tbh)
Oh yeeeeah, applied for uni! ^_^ Applied for three different courses though, mad. Accounting and Management at Kent and Westminster, Accounting and Finance at Plymough and Leeds then Business Management at Queen Mary Uni. I don't know whether I want Kent or Queen Mary the most, I'm a bit nervous and apprehensive. Accounting and Management is the more "academic" degree and specialist but as I'm looking to do a top up degree with Law so I can go into Company Law/Soliciting, it wouldn't really matter what I'm doing - Queen Mary is better uni but BM isn't really all that. However, the main modules I'm looking to do which is Corporate Governance and Business Law is in both courses, I don't think I'm too fussy. AAAANNNDDD Queen Mary is in London which would be super live to live in - would make a great change from Northampton. So far I've only got two offers which kinda sux :( but I'm still appreciative of them though! I've got them from Plymouth and Westminster. 
Aye, I can't wait for my gap year, I'm exxccccciiittteeeddd. I'm going to spend a bit of time in Nigeria, might do some charity work, then do some travelling then work for a bit. Going to spend a lot of the summer til November working so I can save up - I reaaaaally want to go to Seychelles, Gambia, South Africa and Egypt whilst I'm in Nigeria, hopefully I save up enough to fund it! I should be back around June so I can sort out my student finance and accommodation, etc for uni. A bit troubled about the fact that, due to my gap year I'm going to be like a year behind my friends but then again I'm quite young for my year (July born) so I'm going I'll be 19 which will be the same age as 1st years :) 
Presently I'm trying to get my head round the fact that the time I anticipated for revision is a lot longer than what I actually have *sigh* So I have to go to the library LOOOAADDSS, tomorrow I'm going to the uni library so as to get a lot more done. Kinda pointless resitting these exams but I've stated why already. 


Anyhooooo, I hope you lot reading this had a great holiday period and thanks for reading this. Sometimes I question myself for the reasoning behind creating this blog because it seems kinda pointless but then I look at the views and it kinda gets me all chuffed lol - people actually read it ^_^. So far I've got 4433 views, great stuff! My blog is a form of catharsis and people say it's relatable, also it's sort of memory keeping as well. Especially the little things, it will be things I'll read later on in life and be like "Ohhhh, I remember that!" lol. 

"I hope that in this year to come, you make mistakes. Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world. You're doing things you've never done before, and more importantly, you're Doing Something. So that's my wish for you, and all of us, and my wish for myself. Make New Mistakes. Make glorious, amazing mistakes. Make mistakes nobody's ever made before. Don't freeze, don't stop, don't worry that it isn't good enough, or it isn't perfect, whatever it is: art, or love, or work or family or life.

Whatever it is you're scared of doing, Do it.

Make your mistakes, next year and forever."

xo

 

I'm bored and it's 2 am. It's raaaambling time! Try to read that in a cool voice, it will sound so much better. Yeah? Yeah. Let me start with the serious stuffz. Too often I find myself focusing on a lot of negativity as opposed to actually realising the things I have and not take them for granted. It's wrong and I need to keep reminding myself that I have it so much better than others. At the same time, it's hard to think that when you find negativity can sometime overpower positivity. Eurgh. I hate when I'm down about something and someone says 'think of all the poor people in the world, that could be worse' yeeeeaaaaaah I know that but telling me that will NOT instantly make me better u'know. (-_-)

I don't even know what to talk about, I feel like just waffling but then I can't reallly be bothered. OHHH I just remembered, I got my grades. I'm into A2 and I did alright, lololol. I got BBCU. But the U exam paper is getting remarked hopefully. I've tried looking into courses that I want to do at uni but it's just sosososo hard picking what I want to do. I want to do something I know that I'll definitely enjoy and do great in but I want it to be something academic so I know that I'll get a good job out of it. It's all confusing. I'm looking forward to my gap year though. 

What did I do today? Not a lot tbh. I watched Inception for the first time and woooooow it's amazing! WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME ABOUT IT BEFORE????????????????????????????????????????????? *rage* lol. I've even tried doing more research on it to understand it further. I'm going to watch it again tomorrow. I also watched PhoneBooth today, loved it all over again aha. There is this basketball film on iPlayer, watch it, it's called Freestyle. I don't know whether to be impressed that there is a British based basketball film or be disappointed that you can't compare to great bball films like White Men Can't Jump. The film is somewhat cringey tbh and there are bits of it that leave a lot to be desired. I can't lie though, the music played is pretty good, some grimey stuff. 

You know what I love? When you come across someone new and they just understand you. Do you know how great that feels? It gives me hope in this damned world we live in. I'm being serious. Being able to talk to someone for hours yet it doesn't feel like such a long time? Just great. I need more people like this in my life. Just suddenly realised that I have less than two weeks left of my summer, that makes me miseraaaable. I have sooo much school work to do as well! Personal statement, extended project, english lit cw, history essay, politics essay, ahh it's all long. I just cannot be bothered. I wanted to go to London this week as well.

"There are moments of such pure, sublime, unparalleled perfection that they will force you to close your eyes and hold on to them as best you can. Life is a series of these moments. Everything else is just waiting for them"

So...it is 3.08am. I'm bored and just scrolling through Twitter. Nowadays I find that a lot of the topics discussed on there seem to just lead to people spouting ridiculous ignorance. Either that or they're just being dumb or disrespectful. Damn, the disrespect I witness on Twitter....disgusting. For instance, I find that people get a real kick out of insulting black girls. I understand that we all have freedom of speech but sometimes...too far. Okay, your preference doesn't favour black girls, does that mean you have to spend so much time sending slander their way? I just don't get it. Everyone has what they like and what they don't like. Does this authorise them to insult the things they don't like? If you don't like something, leave it, there is no need to bang on about it - doing nothing but sending out stupid generalisations that do nothing but force me to believe that you're beefing your brain. Or am I wrong? I don't particularly find Asian guys attractive but that doesn't mean I spend all my nights on Twitter insulting them and making stupid generalisions. There is simply no point. Fair enough, a joke or two is acceptable but people just do not know when to stop. Then there will be someone who has 'caught feelings' then it turns to, to coin the phrase, 'corn'. It's all long to be perfectly honest. Tonight's very original topic on Twitter is size. So original. People are going on about how if you're bigger than a 12, it's unacceptable. First off, who has given these people the right to state what is and what isn't acceptable? Has some form of divine power been bestowed upon you for you to decide what people should be? Fair enough, you are one of those that are obsessive about your weight. Keep it to yourself, there is no need to insult others. The most ironic thing of all is that a lot of these individuals will talk about clothes sizes and whatnot but completely ignore the fact that their faces leave a lot to desire. You can have a nice body, but trust me, if your face is, as they say, 'leave it' you're really in NO position to comment. Like, how dare anyone say that someone doesn't deserve their life because they are a size 16? What the hell is wrong with people?  These are the same ones that on Sunday will start shouting Hallelujah, completely ignoring how a few days previously they were condemning God's creations.I'm a size 14/16 and I'm 5"9, does this mean that I deserve to die? Whilst comfortably ignoring the fact that there are much more worse things for one to worry about in life. Call me fat, blah blah blah. Surely your being fat should be defined by how many rolls and ripples your body has, not your clothes size. There are guys who, because of gym wear a L t-shirt, does this mean they are fat? No. I play basketball, thus I'm actually healthy and to be honest that is all that matters. Does someone else being a size that you aren't particularly in favour of affect you and your life directly? I just don't understand.

I don't know, maybe it's just me but some people just refuse to use the brain that God gave them for FREE. Do you understand how disrespectful that is? You get something for free and you're refusing to use it. See if you dont get your recompense on the day of reckoning.

Anyway enough of that. Results are out in a few hours, I'm starting to feel excited for them. Weird? I know. Also, pay day has come so yeah, I'm hapz. Just can't wait to open that envelope and see what grades I've been given. I just hope there isn't one UGLY grade on there. Tears may drop. I can't even front, if it's terrible I will cry. But I'm looking forward to Roch's get together after. That's gon' be nice, haven't seen anyone from school since we broke up. To be honest, I don't even do much with myself. All I find nowadays is that I either just want to play bball or draw, that's pretty much it. Like now, after doing this post, I'm going to carry on the drawing I started earlier. It's a lady in her hijab, she looks pretty, it's nice. I should actually put some pics of my work so it doesn't sound like I'm talking rubbish...soon come. Yeah, rambling now. That's enough. Thanks for actually reading, means a lot :-) Leave a comment if you wish.

Corn: To 'catch corn' is to basically become the joke of the timeline. Everyone is laughing at you, in a mocking manner. So, yeah, you've become a joke for the entertainment of Twitter.

The universe is massive, the earth in comparison to it is tiny. Whatever one does is not going to be of any significance to the universe, right? So one might as well do whatever the heart desires, right? But then when one considers that the fact the one can gain insight, wisdom and think deeply about issues, humans are able to do the most good toward others and make a personal mark on the world. It's hard to realise one's importance in a world so big. Find a cause and purpose - my musing